Saturday, August 1, 2009

Farmer's Market Clothing Swap and Sassy Singles Solidarity

I have two questions for you:

1) Has anyone tried to organize a clothing swap table at their local farmer's market? Any advice for how to get such a thing started? It seems like it should be straightforward...

2) I'm looking for info and stories from people over thirty(ish) who are committed to being single and who also maintain and prioritize a community of friends and chosen family over (romantic) couple-formations in their lives. What sorts of questions, challenges, delights, conflicts, strengths do you think surface when making the choice to be single amid dominant practices that seem to endorse and advocate (monogamous) coupling?

I've been reading some great blogs by people who talk about being single but not solo, and I am wondering what kind of access they have to communities of friends and chosen family that not only support their choices but collaborate actively on making this way of living possible. How, for instance, might people configure their needs and desires in ways that get met when there isn't one person essentially appointed (or expected) to do certain things--mundane or serious--i.e. rush to your bedside if you're ill, rush into your bed when you're horny, make your bed for you when you're really busy... Does this single-life choice demand that you live in a large urban center in order to rely on a large community of friends? How deeply does location play into this? And how does age, race, ability, class, belief-system, gender, sexuality... also shape the single-choice-experience?

I'm putting these questions "out there" because I've been thinking a lot about the queerness of singlehood and how to DO singlehood in queer ways that feel personalized, critical, honest, and comforting. I'm really curious about what other people are doing and thinking and this sort of thing doesn't come up easily in a Google search! I started by asking for info and stories from people over thirty(ish) not because I don't think people in their twenties are legitimately making this kind of choice, but because I am in the thirty-plus age group, which for me has meant a paradigm shift in my thoughts about singleness and aging.

There are, I believe, charged intersections between performing and fashioning sexuality and singlehood. More to come...


Designer Studio said...


The latest fashion trend in apparels today is the skinny jeans that give you a lean look. However, if you are unable to get into those, you would also be happy to put on those wide legged pants or trousers that are also hot with the fashionistas. When worn with a short narrow top and a slim fit jacket along with high heel shoes, this combination would look cool and give you that much longed for lean look.

Try it out this season!

contrarywise said...

I'm interested in the questions you raise about social networks that provide support and community beyond the monogamous couple dyad. I've found it extremely hard to create that kind of community in my own life because of the transience of my friends. I don't have any good answers for you, but I'd like to participate in more conversations about these issues.

Little Ms Whatshertights said...


Yes! Thanks! Let's definitely keep this conversation on the table.